we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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