i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
