did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize