garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a hot homeless man
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
