And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize