Sry I called you an 8
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
