Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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