NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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