Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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