The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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