R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize