no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
