Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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