Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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