im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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