toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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