just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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