we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize