dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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