He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
