I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
