i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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