"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
