Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Houston, we have a blender
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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