Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think my moral compass just broke
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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