The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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