I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
