yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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