don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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