1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
