is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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