Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize