i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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