he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
