ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
