She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
