so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
