how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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