put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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