that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
