Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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