You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
