Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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