Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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