How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
