Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
