Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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