He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
