tell your sister to shave her snatch
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
