This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
