are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
