there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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