I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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