im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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