If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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