I think my vagina is haunted
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
