was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is my gift to your gina
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
