he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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