So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
