I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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