Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
