i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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