Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize