I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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